Her intention started off innoculously enough: “Little me will make cake for friend’s birthday and hide it in fridge as surprise for friend. Friend likes cake, so friend will be happy ^o^” However, as soon as she completed her “good deed”, she realized that the sinister inside her had unknowingly taken over and led her to commit evil instead…
Two days ago, while still in possession of a friend’s key, I decided to rush over to the apartment after school and make a coconut-mousse cake as a surprise for said individual’s birthday. However, clumsy that I was, I forgot my gelatin and ended up wasting too much time at the store so had to resort to buying a
sketchy-looking convenient crème caramel instant mix in an attempt to replicate my Japanese-pudding cake.
Upon arrival, I hastily made the crème caramel and tried to get it to solidify quickly by putting it in the freezer. Alas, with only 30 minutes to spare, the crème caramel did not succumb to the cold and taunted me by flowing back and forth slowly in the mold. What to do?!?! I vented my frustration by liquefying it completely, then tried to salvage its gooey remains by mixing them directly into the batter.
With only 1.5 hours left, I went into a state of self-abandon and responded to the curious scientist in little me. Instead of making a simple dessert, I decided to see what kind of
horrendous wonderful creation could arise from a mixture of all sorts of cake-making ingredients.
In retrospect, I really should have stuck to simplicity and remember that the cake was meant for my friend, whose stomach and health should be respected, but the flesh was weak, and the curious mind weaker, and I could not stop the maniac in me. What resulted was a questionable concoction made of the following ingredients:
- Flour (base/foundation – every cake needs a solid foundation!)
- Corn starch (to make the texture lighter!)
- Yogurt (because before I realized that the crème caramel was not working I needed to make the mixture more runny…)
- Coconut milk (
better this than waterso that I can call it a coconut cake)
- Egg (duh!)
- Sweetened shredded coconut (because it IS a coconut cake)
- Melted butter (you need fat in everything!)
- Powdered sugar (because normal sugar is just not fancy enough)
- Baking soda (to cheat the laborious process of having to fluff up egg whites)
- Vanilla (
to cover up the foul stench that is baking soda)
- Liquified crème caramel (which, ironically, became the source of all vices in this cake)
The batter tasted okie, plus the cat seemed tempted to lick it, so I trusted the primal animal instincts in both of us and proceeded to make a caramel base for the cake. I ditched the pre-made packet of caramel from the box of crème caramel and made my own using brown sugar and water and used that to simulate the top layer of crème caramel (currently bottom layer in the pan). Then, into the oven it goes to bake for around 20 minutes.
Content with the big, round thing that now sat on the plate, I went ahead to “pretty” it up with unsweetened cocoa powder and shredded coconut. For my pièce de résistance, I sacrificed a still-alive carnation by nipping it and sticking its white carcass into the middle of the cake. Brilliant, I thought to myself, that’ll cover up the blood stain (water spot) made by my being lazy and not drying the flower properly before putting it on.
Finally, like any proud criminal, I was so estastic of my criminal doings that I went and shot a whole bunch of pictures of my heinous creation, using different lighting and props to cover up its flaws and to make it as appealing and flattering as possible. I posted the pictures onto facebook, and insinuated that someone will be having a feast of a cake this week. The women were smart, but the men were, unfortunately, less dignified. A poor post-doc in the neighboring lab was baited and was thrilled, entertaining the thought that it was meant for him. Another tentative male speculated that it was for the object of my heart’s desire, and was quick to withdraw his “like” in an attempt to recover from his moment’s weakness. Oh, if they only know for whom
the bell tolls the cake will be offered~
I put the cake inside the fridge along with an innocent note. The target, the victim of my elaborate scheme, is currently on a flight to return to the city. The individual is unaware of the poison that is waiting, the monster that is still lurking in the fridge. Will its consumption lead to food-poisoning? Tummyache? Emotional trauma? Or… the unthinkable??? This evil kitty is patiently awaiting for her plan to roll out~.^