I was very happy when I logged into Facebook over the weekend and found that the doctor showed up on my “people you may know” list. Perhaps he has either searched for me through my number/looked me up via email, or kept my contact active/long enough for Facebook to pick me up as a suggestion 🙂 It may sound a little strange, but I see this hapa as some sort of an older-brother figure (despite our initial meeting was him trying to date me), so I am very happy for this reconnection.
On the other hand, the lawyer from my past also showed up. He keeps making recurring and unwanted appearances in my “people you may know” list, and I have no idea why since I have long since deleted all of his contact and never bothered to search for him on anything.
The man was one of the most accomplished I had ever “dated”*, and proved himself to be an erudite. He was well-read and even had publications to show. Moreover, he was a respected personality in his church community and kept himself physically well despite his demanding schedule. Yet, for all of his professional and personal achievements, unfortunately, he still acted like a little boy half his size when it came to little me.
I had been meeting him for dinners and thought we were becoming friends. As I had very little funds, he insisted on paying for all of our meals and assuaged my guilt by using a polite little argument about the utility function of money. In short, the conclusion was that it was only logical for him to be the one paying. It was rather cute, but I still felt badly so offered to make him goodies as repayment. During our time together, he was friendly and respectful, and was familiar with the Bible, all of which contributed to my quickly becoming comfortable with him. I was not a stranger to unsolicited advances from men, and made it quite clear that I do not appreciate those who disguise such ulterior intentions as friendship, only to turn on me when their affections were not reciprocated. He understood and agreed, and I felt I have finally found someone who would not be crazy enough to “come onto” me unexpectedly, especially considering how well-endowed he was – I mean, I was (and still am) a humble student little in all ways, so why would a ridiculously tall (6’2-6’3), well-built (he has muscles from building his own cabin in the forest and from doing push-ups/sit-ups every time he changes), handsome (by conventional standards, not subjective, thank you very much!), rich (that’s a given when you’re in legal) lawyer ever want to “date date” me?
Boy, was I dead wrong~
I should have suspected something was not right when, during dinner, he took advantage of the quieting restaurant and asked for me to come over so that he could give me a hug to comfort me because he found me “sweet” (for whatever reason). I complied, and he pulled me into his lap for a big bear hug (literally, since this guy was more than a ft taller than me). He did not try to feel his way up or down, so I had no other reason to suspect that he had anything but honourable intentions.
Outside the restaurant, I handed him the curry I made in my tuppy (which unfortunately turned soupy) as my repayment for his always paying for our meals together, and rode with him part way until we reached the final stop. Things continued “friendly” enough until we were to part way at the central station. I looked up to him to smile and say goodbye when
Based on the abovementioned reasons, you can understand how it completely caught me off guard. There I was, dumbfounded ૮( ᵒ̌▱๋ᵒ̌ )ა
“Um…um…” I had one hand behind my head/neck and looked up stupidly at him ∑（｡･Д･｡）???
Seeing how I did not reciprocate/my shock, he transformed into a muddy pile of embarrassment: “I’m soooooo sorry! I didn’t know what came over me! You just looked so sweet standing there and I couldn’t help myself. I AM SO, SOOOO SORRY!” He spewed out a bunch of awkward apologies, all of which revolved around how apparently he just could not refrain because I was just too [adjective]. I “okayed” all of his excuses in an equally awkward manner.
On my way home, he sent me another profuse apology text. I assured him it was alright as no (real) harm was done and then just dismissed it as an “incident”. However, he apparently could not let it go and over the ensuing month resorted to the “hit-and-run” pattern with which I am simply all too familiar after years of being duped by guys who I thought were my friends.
As expected, he became more and more distant and almost kept my tuppy had I not insisted to retrieve it before he left for his big trip (as I needed it for my own lunch). He promised to contact me upon his return so that I could repay him with a solid homemade goodie after the soupy curry disaster.
A couple months later around the time he told me he would have been back from his trip, I sent him a friendly text to see if I could get this “friend” back. More importantly, I remembered that I still owe him the homemade goodie as he had so generously paid for all of our previous meals. The text went nowhere and we lost touch.
That was rather not nice of him, if you ask me. Here I thought I was safe with the guy as he knew that I have had extensive history with unsolicited advances from men and did not appreciate how they would just retract their so-called friendship after my not returning their advances, but here he was doing the same thing~! Whatever his reason was, I still do not appreciate what he did (☄ฺ◣д◢)☄ฺ Oh, and I do not know how on earth did Facebook ever connect me with this lawyer, but since he keeps showing up, I’m starting to get tempted to send him a message to let him know what a downright jerky thing that he did, pretending to be my friend and then running off after he smooched me so inappropriately <(｀^´)>
Note: Unfortunately, I seem to have “dated” a lot of men when I actually had no idea I was doing so. Just casually having a meal with a guy or even talking with them while maintaining perfectly polite physical distance and verbal exchanges still registered to them as “dates”, when I thought we were just “hanging out”.