The Pharmaceutical PhD Student

Grr, I can’t believe it – seriously, another one?!?!

I met a PhD student from pharmaceutical sciences whose department is only a few-minutes walk away from ours. I was excited to know a student from another department. He was polite at first and encouraged us to know each other better because we are practically comrades in the process of getting our respective degress. I had no reason to suspect another fellow student, so quickly gave him my number. He called immediately after I said bye to him to tell me that being as “cute and funny” as I was, I was indeed, “a great catch”.  I thought he was referring to finally knowing someone outside the department, and told him that I was also excited that I “may have someone new to help broaden my social network outside the department”. Little did I know, he actually wanted something more from me.

It all started innocently. He asked me how my day was, and I replied telling him about my courses. However, instead of replying to my school-related topics, he quickly redirected the conversation to one of a more personal nature within the first few days of knowing me. One of the first messages hinting to his ulterior motive was him asking if whether I’d like to come back to his home where he’d make tea and nutella sandwich to help ease my stressful day. Obviously, I declined, saying that I do not know him well enough to venture into his home unaccompanied, even if he was another student on campus. He understood and stepped back. Then, a couple days after, he suddenly texted to announce that his long day has just ended and that he was back to his apartment on campus feeling “tired, bored, hungry, hxxxy, and wanting to play Pokemon.” I ignored his implicit message and told him simply that, as a friend, I can only help with 1-3 and 5. He took the hint and went back to talking about his research; however, in the few days after, his messages escalated without prompt and he started using “girl” when greeting me: “I’m bored, let’s go for bubble tea girl;)” or “hey girl, I’m hungry, let’s go for lunch”.

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“Hey girl, come to my house where I’ll make you tea and nutella sandwich”, he said…

I declined all of his invitations, excusing myself with work, and went on with my day. It was awkward to say the least. His way of speaking and mannerism struck me as someone socially awkward, which was consistent to what he admitted to as having very little socialization with others (he mostly spends his time researching and playing poker or pokemon). Still, I did not mind as it was nice to know someone outside my own department with whom I can share all ideas academically-related. Furthermore, like I told him before, it may be fun to have someone to rekindle my childhood passion for anime/games. Yes, I still had hope, especially since I keep telling him straight in the face that we’re only friends.

His messages were mostly one-sided with him complaining to me about various things in his life, from school to girls. Despite wanting a girlfriend, he hates most of the girls he has come across and finds them “selfish and playing hard to get.” I answered briefly to remain courteous but I suspected he was getting a little too focused on me, so offered to be his wingwoman to help him with girls. He ignored the last part completely. Then, out of no where, he started following me on social media and messaged me asking why I had time to log in during class (it was break time). He continued his behaviour and kept following my online activities until finally, yesterday, without warning, he sent me one heck of an inappropriate request to become “friends with benefits” with me.

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Err, where did that come from?

He even thought he was being considerate to my situation by offering to be “discreet and confidential”. I was disgusted, but still replied calmly and asked him to “please look for others who would entertain the idea”. In this case, I honestly did everything I could have done to make it clear that I was not interested in anything beyond a platonic friendship, yet he still made the desperate, wishful leap to the realm of no return. How men keep misinterpreting rejections to dating as an open invitation to becoming physically intimate is beyond little me’s comprehension @.@

Needless to say, I will not be entertaining even the notion of platonic friendship with this person. I guess I also can confirm now that the reason why he has remained single for all these years is definitely not due to the girls he encountered, but entirely due to him and him alone – moreover, not by personal choice like he claimed!

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